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If We Want Less #Metoo Stories, Here's What Needs to Happen

Relevant Magazine article with the Whole Bible Christian response

It's All the Fault of Men

Define your terms, and learn the true meaning of hate and misandry. There's more to misogyny than women-hating. There are systemic causes, and systemic solutions. Some men hate or abuse women, but not all do. Ask yourself if women do anything to encourage misogyny such as misandry, or simple lack of respect for themselves or for the male gender. Ask yourself if you are following everything God has commanded concerning the genders.

Women Hate Men Too

So now what? Feminists have been attacking men and encouraging women to hate men for decades now. Eve wasn't happy at where she was either. She had to speak out against her God-given role and look where that got us. You think that most women have bought into the tenets of feminism and decided to hate all men?

This is not unusual in history

This kind of gender problem has been in existence for a long time. It is instigated by the deceiver and promoted by those who belong in his kingdom and those who don't but should know better. The way to know better is to repent and do what God tells us to do. Get back to His Law. Flee from the sinful behaviors of sexual immorality, divorce, and baby killing. Return to His Laws.

If We Want Less #MeToo Stories, Here’s What Has to Happen

Article in Relevant magazine (relevantmagazine.com) Jan 2, 2018 by Dorothy Greco

No matter how many women bravely share their personal stories of sexual abuse or harassment, no matter how many opportunistic predators are exposed and stopped, until enough men rise up to condemn and interrupt misogynistic behavior, the exploitation of women will most likely continue. The question then seems to be How do we shift culture so that misogynistic thinking and practices are no longer acceptable?

Misogyny is defined simply as the hatred of women. The word misogyny was coined by the Greeks because they needed to describe what was happening to women and girls in their culture. Though the modern world esteems the Greco-Roman empire for their art, engineering and democratic practices, we often forget that they denied women the right to vote and left unwanted baby girls on their front steps or at garbage dumps, where many were plucked by opportunistic families and raised as slaves or prostitutes.

Misogyny is and has been present all over the world from time immemorial. One expression of misogyny is blaming women for the ills of society. The ancient Greeks pointed their collective fingers at Pandora while the ancient Jews (and far too many contemporary Christians) ascribed blame to Eve. Indeed, with regard to the prevalence of misogyny, it seems to make little difference if a culture is god-fearing or god-hating, educated or uneducated.

Jack Hollands, author of Misogyny: The World’s Oldest Prejudice, writes:

[Misogyny] has been expressed by some of the greatest and most renowned artists that civilization has produced, and celebrated in the lowest, most vulgar works of modern pornography. The history of misogyny is indeed the story of a hatred unique as it is enduring, uniting Aristotle with Jack The Ripper, King Lear with James Bond.

From stoning women caught in adultery (and failing to punish their partners), to the many waves of witch hysteria, sexual harassment in the workplace, infanticide and domestic violence, misogyny has many faces.

This is not news to the millions of women who experience misogyny every day. The world got a glimpse of the problems’ magnitude when more than 4.7 million people engaged with me #MeToo hashtag on October 16. (The Me Too! Movement was actually initiated in 2006 by activist Tarana Burke.)

Though the response of women (and some men) was staggering, the numbers paled in comparison to hard statistics on misogynistic practices. A study done by the Harvard Graduate School of Education, reports that 87 percent percent of women between the ages of 18 and 25 have experienced some form of sexual harassment or assault. And more than 2 million American women were victims of domestic violence across 18 states between 1998-2002.

Much like systemic racism, misogyny is so pervasive and so deeply entrenched that to hope for change feels childish and futile. But despite its prevalence, individual men have been and are making bold choices to stand against this sin.

As #MeToo was sweeping across the internet, San Francisco Bay Area pastor Brad Wong led the men in his congregation to kneel during the Sunday morning service and audibly confess any of the ways that they had dishonored or disrespected women.

In early November, theologians and thought-leaders Tyler Burns and Jemar Tisby, aired a podcast during which Tisby offered the following apology: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for my role, my culpability in objectifying women or making them feel like they’ve been reduced to their physical bodies.

It’s not only minority men who are getting it. Nicholas Kristof, alongside his wife Sheryl WuDunn, has been an outspoken advocate for marginalized women across the globe for well over a decade. Actor Justin Baldoni recently gave a moving TED talk where he repeatedly asked, “Men, where are you?” In another TED talk, activist Jackson Katz, creator of Mentor in Violence Prevention, wondered, “How do we get men who are not abusers to challenge those who are? How do we get men to interrupt each other?”

These specific men are choosing to interrupt their brothers at least in part because they get it. I reached out to Wong to ask what prompted him to lead the men in his congregation to repent. He explained: I was reading through the [#MeToo] Facebook posts, many of them written by friends carrying wounds of which I was completely unaware. It was really a terrible and painful thing. I thought to write my own FB post, expressing grief and solidarity. But, words alone did not seem to suffice.

Tisby and Burns had a similar epiphany when, after a live Pass the Mic podcast, a black woman asked, “Where can I go to be a little girl?” Tisby said, “[Her question] helped me as a man to see the ways that I can be harming my sisters.” Tyler continued, “We decided to talk about this because we ourselves have been guilty of the complicity of these actions. We are guilty of a system, even within churches, that ostracizes and pushes women to the margins.”

Wong, Tisby, Burns and other men of color are quick to see and acknowledge misogyny because of its intersectionality with racism. These men have been on the receiving end of broken power dynamics and understand what it means to be dehumanized and devalued by others. Rather than descending into bitterness and blame, they have allowed their pain to move them toward empathy.

Obviously, most white men will never have these kind of experiences. So the question remains, is it even possible to shift culture in this direction? And if so, how?

The crew at Just Not Sports had an idea. Invite real men (meaning not paid actors) to read actual tweets written by other men while sitting in front of the women who received those tweets. If you watch this video in its entirety, you’ll notice that the tweets get progressively meaner. As they do, the men become visually disturbed and resist making eye contact. The final tag line reads, “We wouldn’t say it to their faces. So let’s not type it.”

Intensive social media and internet pornography usage empower hatred (of all kinds) and block empathy in part because we never have to engage with the person we’ve hurt. Though defensiveness is a natural human response when we feel backed into a corner, the men who are guilty of misogynistic thinking or behaviors will need to vulnerably listen to how their actions, passivity and inability to value women as equal image-bearers in the kingdom God have deeply hurt us.

Many men respect us and would never engage in overtly misogynistic behavior such as rape or sexual harassment. Honestly, that’s not enough. We need you to acknowledge our God-given dignity and value the sanctity of our lives when we go out for a rungather water or go to work in the halls of government rather than seeing us as vehicles to satisfy your sexual desires. We need you to speak up and interrupt a brother or boss or pastor whenever they engage in sexual harassment or abuse—no matter how subtle.

Perhaps one of the reasons why TIME magazine named the Silence Breakers Person of the Year 2017 is because the #MeToo movement confronts apathy and invites both engagement and action. Men, please accept the invitation: The battle is unrelenting and we cannot win it alone.

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A Whole Bible Christian response to Less #Metoo Stories

Bruce S. Bertram

How do we shift culture so that misogynistic thinking and practices are no longer acceptable?

Ah. It's all the men's fault. Non-mysogynists (men, of course) need to jump on the misogynists (also men, of course). So the poor little picked-on ladies need men to help them out? You're independent, equal and can do everything a man can do, but not this? Okay, I'll give you a hand.

First off, we need to properly define the problem or you will just keep spinning your wheels trying to find a solution. As Dorothy explains, the word misogyny comes from the Greek roots misein (to hate) and gynē (woman). But what she doesn't explain is that Greek culture was dominated by homosexuals, or in other words, woman haters. Homosexuals by definition hate women. One of the single biggest factors in world culture hatred of woman is homosexuality.

Second, if we are going to deal properly with women-hating, we'll also need to deal with man-hating. Oh yeah. There are a lot of man-haters out there. The word for this is misandry. Feminism is rooted in misandry. Men are the cause of all the world's problems, and if women were just given a chance at running things for a while all the war and abuse would disappear. Yeah, sorry. Not buying that one. Women are just as good as men at hating, as well as corruption and greed. Especially, and I know this is not politically correct but it's true, at certain times every month.

Now let's define hate. A large chunk of our population would define hate as a feeling, just like they define love as a feeling or sentiment. Neither definition hits the mark. Love is doing what is right, good, healthy and godly for others, even if you don't feel like it. When you stop to help a motorist with car problems that is love, though you don't even know the person you might be helping. If you love your kids you stay committed to your marriage. My natural mother (I call her the egg donor) was married seven times. She wanted all the divorces but she wanted the husband to divorce her for some reason. She cheated at least twice that I know of in order to get out of the marriage. One of those husbands she cheated on wouldn't divorce her even then, so she had to divorce him. The egg donor was a nice person. She would be horrified to be accused of hate. But she hated by her self-centered insistence on her own way, and did a lot of damage to men and kids.

Hate, then, is not doing what is right, good, healthy and godly for yourself or others. You don't even have to have a feeling connected with it. A hating person does not properly discipline their children. They might disguise their hate by claiming to care too much to hurt another, but this is psychological claptrap. It just serves to give an excuse to those who don't love enough to see that their children learn consideration for others and choose lifestyles that are right, good, healthy and godly.

One cannot show and teach love for their children when they murder babies in the womb. It does not track, and kids can see it. If a parent tells a child not to harm others, then marches in an abortion rights parade, the lesson is not lost on the child. When parents divorce for no good reason (which is most divorces nowadays) the real issues of mommy and daddy caring more for themselves than others (included in our definition of hate) are driven home to the kids. These are not the lessons you want children to learn, but learn them they do. When mom is a hypocrite or dad is cowardly and self-serving, it will translate to the next generation the message that love is a joke, a waste of time. I might as well self-indulge all I want also. Look out for number one.

No wonder then that many children grow up to be women or men haters. Hatred grows strong in the fertile ground of homes where self-seeking rather than God-seeking is the norm. It is a proven fact that hate at home in the form of beatings, sexual immorality or divorce produces more hate.

You'll notice that there's a whole lot of hating of the genders going on. Hating, though, is not limited to men for women or women for men. It is all over the place between neighbors, states, countries and tribes. Hate is the product of the deceiver's kingdom, and he pushes hate because he hates God. He wants to destroy God's people and kingdom, and he would destroy God if he could.

But churches have also encouraged hate. "Wait," you say. "How could churches be encouraging hate?" Because they have moved away from teaching the Word of God. "That doesn't make sense," you respond. "Don't churches teach the love of God?" Not any more they don't.

You see, the Word of God is love. All of His Words. Even the words some of us don't like such as "thou shall not commit adultery" or "homosexuality is an abomination."

Churches have led the way in growing hate by turning away from teaching and following God's Law. As prosperity has increased in the United States and technology reduced the time needed for daily chores such as laundry and food preparation, people had more time to devote to wandering eyes and other sinful pastimes. As self-indulgence grew so did demands for churches to soften the Bible's teachings. Churches obliged because if they didn't they lost tithing members to other churches. As mega-churches blossomed the messages got even softer and less related to God's Laws. The people rejoiced and "rose up to play" as it says in Exodus 32:6 at the golden calf incident.

It's not an unusual cycle in history. When people turn from God to self-seeking, narcissistic behavior hatred increases in direct proportion. All sorts of consequences from that hating arise such as those of our current topic. Woman-hating has its roots in drifting from God. It is a systemic problem that needs repentance and a return to His Law. Any other attempted solution is just treating the symptoms, not the cause.

How do we shift culture so that misogynistic thinking and practices are no longer acceptable?
 

Fault isn't in others, it's in you. So repent and return to God's Word if you want to stop misogyny or misandry. Stop wearing clothing that makes you "look sexy." Pushing sex doesn't get you respect. Sure, just because you advertise doesn't mean I have to buy. But not every guy is like me. If you insist on acting like there's no wolves in the forest while tripping merrily along in your high heels ("but they make my legs and butt look sexy"), low cut see-through blouses, short skirts ("does this make my butt look fat?") and troweled on make-up then sooner or later some wolf is going to take the bait. Just saying.

Why is it men in the business world have to wear a shirt and tie, but women can wear see-through blouses and open shirts showing off their cleavage? Why is it women dress to look "sexy?" Why wear high heels to accentuate your legs and butt? How come we can't tell a woman (who asks) "Does this outfit make my butt look too big?" that yes, it makes your butt look too big. Except it's not the outfit. How come I have to have a woman's chest or butt stuck in my face every day either through lack of modesty or outright need to "feel sexy?"

You like to classify all perceived mistreatment from men as misogyny. But I think you need to learn the meaning of misandry.

You could also refuse to have sex outside of marriage. Stop jumping in the sack with every tom, dick or harry that strikes your fancy. The Pill made you free? Not hardly. It removed one of the main barriers for men to expect and/or pressure you into sex, and a tool to help you refuse. If you are single and using the Pill there's your misogyny right there. You hate women because you pursue hateful behavior such as sex before marriage. You hate yourself.

Stop promoting abortion. You can't hardly complain about mistreatment from men if you kill babies. Picking on someone smaller than you isn't right in any circumstance. On the one hand you package abortion as a "choice" and a "woman's health issue," but you don't choose to keep your legs together nor do you regard the many bad health issues from scraping a living being out of your body. If you are so hard inside that killing a baby is just a choice, then why would you judge men for their choices?

Help stamp out homosexuality. If you affirm a hateful lifestyle then you are affirming hate. Stop divorcing at the drop of a hat, and dropping the hat yourself. Refuse to have anything to do with homosexuals. Get rid of your homosexual best friend. Stop asking their style advice, and stop confiding in them like they're a best friend.

Feminists who excoriate Trump for stating the obvious about women throwing themselves at rich, powerful men then refuse to say a peep about President "It wasn't sex" Clinton. Duplicity couldn't be part of the problem, could it? Or how about silence concerning Sharia law and the rights of women in Muslim culture and countries? Crickets.

How about the myriad forms of sexual harassment men suffer everyday? Women who refuse to respect their husbands? Who denigrate our contributions to the marriage or raising children? Women who are treated like queens yet stomp all over their men verbally, withholding sex for the merest slight while implying that we are animals for even suggesting it? Women (and girls) who wear revealing clothing?

Got some news for you girls. It's not men's fault. It's yours. The Pill made you free? It's the other way around. It made you a slave to sin. You jump in the sack with someone you only know from an hour's worth of a date? Oh please. You don't respect yourselves, so why in the world would you expect respect from others? You run around without escorts (brothers or fathers) then wonder why you are assaulted? I got some more news. You are not the equal of men, especially those bullies (always around) who will attack or mistreat you. We are stronger, bigger, faster and without the Holy Spirit downright animalistic. You go into the forest alone carrying food and you don't think the wolves will notice?

So here's some advice. Stop acting like you are Superwoman and can go where you want and do what you want, even at 1:00 am in a bad part of town. Sheesh, even I know better than that. Stop dressing "sexy." Get rid of those stretchy pants that show every detail of your anatomy. We don't need your body parts figuratively shoved in our faces. Sensible shoes are not the enemy. Consider group dates or at least doubles. Stop jumping in the sack without even so much as knowing a name.

From Wikipedia: Tesla never married, explaining that his chastity was very helpful to his scientific abilities. He once said in earlier years that he felt he could never be worthy enough for a woman, considering women superior in every way. His opinion had started to sway in later years when he felt that women were trying to outdo men and make themselves more dominant. This "new woman" was met with much indignation from Tesla, who felt that women were losing their femininity by trying to be in power. In an interview with the Galveston Daily News on 10 August 1924 he stated, "In place of the soft voiced, gentle woman of my reverent worship, has come the woman who thinks that her chief success in life lies in making herself as much as possible like man—in dress, voice and actions, in sports and achievements of every kind ... The tendency of women to push aside man, supplanting the old spirit of cooperation with him in all the affairs of life, is very disappointing to me."
How do we shift culture so that misogynistic thinking and practices are no longer acceptable?

Shalom

Bruce

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