Ephesians 5:25–28 ESV. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
What does Paul mean by directing husbands to wash their wives with the Word? He tells believing husbands to love their wives as Christ loves His congregation (the word “church” is only used in translations) and follow His ways with our wives in a similar fashion. One of the ways we do this is by washing our wives with the Word as we are washed. But if all of us are already washed with the Word, then why are we directed to wash our wives in the same way? One of the possible meanings is given us by the Christ when He washed the disciple’s feet.
John 13:10 ESV. Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you.”
John 15:3 ESV. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.
So even though we all have been “cleansed by the washing of water with the Word” in our initial salvation, we still need occasional cleaning with the Word and repentance. When we sin, we need repentance and cleansing with the Word. Jesus told the disciples that they were clean but just needed a little touchup. The word “wash” is used a great deal in the Bible, and mostly means to bathe the body or garments. A few times, it means to cleanse the heart. For instance, Jeremiah uses it to encourage washing the evil from the heart.
Jeremiah 4:14 ESV. O Jerusalem, wash your heart from evil, that you may be saved. How long shall your wicked thoughts lodge within you?
There’s also washing of wounds and washing the body for burial. Pilate is recorded as washing his hands of the crucifixion of Jesus, attempting to imply he was guiltless. Baptism is said to wash away our sins in Acts 22:26 through identification with the death and resurrection of Jesus. Paul illuminates this idea further in his first letter to the Corinthians.
1 Corinthians 6:9–11 ESV. Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Washing a wife with the Word sanctifies her in a manner similar to baptism. Apparently, husbands are tasked with study and application of the Word to their wives (and one assumes children). Of course, the husband ideally would be applying the Word to his own life first. This structure reverses the events in the Garden of Eden, where Eve bit on the arguments of the serpent and “washed” her husband in her word, which resulted in the Fall of both of our parents.
It’s a spiritual action to wash my wife with the Word. I wash, and then I help wash her as she needs it. We might even compare it to washing the disciple’s feet in humility as shown to us by Jesus. As we read through the Bible, I regularly explain the meaning of a text (or what I think is the meaning) and possible applications to her. She shares her insights with me also. We have conversations on a daily basis as we work our way through another stretch of Bible reading. We read at different rates but we still go through the Bible once a year, discussing parts as we go.
Hebrews 4:12–13 ESV. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
I’ve studied college level books a little more than my wife, so I help her with different perspectives and word definitions gained from my studies, which improve her understanding of some difficult parts. This, I think, is part of washing my wife with the Word. Of course, the more we read and the more we do what we read the more we change to conform to God’s will. It’s not just reading a few words here and there, like after a church service where the message is almost immediately forgotten by lunchtime.
1 John 2:3-6 ESV. And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.
Together we remind each other of God’s Words as we seek applications of it in daily living. God’s commands, actually given by and amplified by Jesus, help us with our transformation from sinful people into the image of the Christ (Romans 8:29). As we wash our wives with the Word, we participate with the Holy Spirit to change each day and be more like our Messiah and Savior. Washing also doesn’t help much unless we actually do what we read, so washing our feet, so to speak, helps each of us clean off and improve our practice, transforming and renewing our minds to avoid being conformed to the world.
Romans 12:1–2 ESV. I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Shalom.