Posted in Daily Living • Humility • Marriage • Paul Teachings • Women

Washing

By Comments:

Ephesians 5:25–28 ESV. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

What does Paul mean by directing husbands to wash their wives with the Word? He tells believing husbands to love their wives as Christ loves His congregation (the word “church” is only used in translations) and follow His ways with our wives in a similar fashion. One of the ways we do this is by washing our wives with the Word as we are washed. But if all of us are already washed with the Word, then why are we directed to wash our wives in the same way? One of the possible meanings is given us by the Christ when He washed the disciple’s feet.

John 13:10 ESV. Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you.”

John 15:3 ESV. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.

So even though we all have been “cleansed by the washing of water with the Word” in our initial salvation, we still need occasional cleaning with the Word and repentance. When we sin, we need repentance and cleansing with the Word. Jesus told the disciples that they were clean but just needed a little touchup. The word “wash” is used a great deal in the Bible, and mostly means to bathe the body or garments. A few times, it means to cleanse the heart. For instance, Jeremiah uses it to encourage washing the evil from the heart.

Jeremiah 4:14 ESV. O Jerusalem, wash your heart from evil, that you may be saved. How long shall your wicked thoughts lodge within you?

There’s also washing of wounds and washing the body for burial. Pilate is recorded as washing his hands of the crucifixion of Jesus, attempting to imply he was guiltless. Baptism is said to wash away our sins in Acts 22:26 through identification with the death and resurrection of Jesus. Paul illuminates this idea further in his first letter to the Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 6:9–11 ESV. Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Washing a wife with the Word sanctifies her in a manner similar to baptism. Apparently, husbands are tasked with study and application of the Word to their wives (and one assumes children). Of course, the husband ideally would be applying the Word to his own life first. This structure reverses the events in the Garden of Eden, where Eve bit on the arguments of the serpent and “washed” her husband in her word, which resulted in the Fall of both of our parents.

It’s a spiritual action to wash my wife with the Word. I wash, and then I help wash her as she needs it. We might even compare it to washing the disciple’s feet in humility as shown to us by Jesus. As we read through the Bible, I regularly explain the meaning of a text (or what I think is the meaning) and possible applications to her. She shares her insights with me also. We have conversations on a daily basis as we work our way through another stretch of Bible reading. We read at different rates but we still go through the Bible once a year, discussing parts as we go.

Hebrews 4:12–13 ESV. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

I’ve studied college level books a little more than my wife, so I help her with different perspectives and word definitions gained from my studies, which improve her understanding of some difficult parts. This, I think, is part of washing my wife with the Word. Of course, the more we read and the more we do what we read the more we change to conform to God’s will. It’s not just reading a few words here and there, like after a church service where the message is almost immediately forgotten by lunchtime.

1 John 2:3-6 ESV. And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.

Together we remind each other of God’s Words as we seek applications of it in daily living. God’s commands, actually given by and amplified by Jesus, help us with our transformation from sinful people into the image of the Christ (Romans 8:29). As we wash our wives with the Word, we participate with the Holy Spirit to change each day and be more like our Messiah and Savior. Washing also doesn’t help much unless we actually do what we read, so washing our feet, so to speak, helps each of us clean off and improve our practice, transforming and renewing our minds to avoid being conformed to the world.

Romans 12:1–2 ESV. I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Shalom.

Posted in Daily Living • Grace • Holy Spirit • Law • Love • Marriage • Paul Teachings • Women

Submitting

By Comments:

The foundation for submitting is built on submitting to God first. Believers submit to every applicable word that is written for each of us. Some of God’s words are for men, and some are for women. Some are for husbands and others are for wives, and some apply to all of us equally.

It’s a blessing and an honor to submit to all of our Father’s instructions. But sometimes we get out of balance and emphasize instructions for other people while forgetting to check ourselves first. Such is the case in marriages where we husbands frequently have more expectations for our spouses than we expect of our own walk.

There are men who demand that a wife submit to him without considering God’s instructions first for husbands. Submitting to God’s instructions will determine how wives submit to husbands. Men demand an unbalanced submission without regard to their own complete submission to our Father. In a marriage context, there are more instructions for a husband than there are for a wife. For instance, a husband is tasked with washing his wife with the Word.

Ephesians 5:25–32 ESV. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Submission to God depends on our view of Him and is directly related to how well we know Him. If He seems to us to be a remote, arbitrary tyrant who makes rules that we can’t possibly obey, then we will resist submitting to Him. If, however, He is a loving, forgiving, merciful and compassionate God who encourages us to follow His ways because they are life-giving and easy to obey, then submission for both husband and wife is a piece of cake.

In fact, God loves us so much that He sacrificed His only begotten Son to restore us as sons and daughters. All we have to do is accept what He did and follow His ways, just like we do with an earthly, loving father. If we expect a wife to submit, then we must first be like an earthly, loving copy of our Father. Yeshua/Jesus is a beautiful example for us to follow.

1 Corinthians 11:2–3 ESV. Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

Husbands have the responsibility to void a wife’s vow if he hears of it and does not agree, as we are instructed in Numbers 30. If a husband divorces his wife and she marries another then is divorced from that man, the previous husband may not remarry her. The husband has authority over his wife’s body (and she over his), which applies to care and concern for her well-being as well as for intimate relations according to Paul in 1 Corinthians 7. Husbands are not to divorce their wives even in the event of unbelief, so long as she wants to stay married.

Women have a tendency to go their own way (and husbands aren’t guiltless in this either), which has been the trend since the Garden. Just because our Father said “he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16) does not give license to be a tyrannical despot. A wife can’t be forced to change, but they can generally be led to change. Men are the leaders (or rulers if you will) which means we are to lead our families to the Father as we follow His example.

1 Corinthians 14:33–35 ESV. For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.

We like to use this Scripture from Paul to keep women from speaking in our assemblies (which is another subject) but the flip side is that husbands are to answer our wives’ questions and teach them. This implies that the husband is taking time to study and learn, and reinforces unity. If a wife is being “washed” well, she will probably have fewer questions anyway. Husbands are also admonished to avoid harshness (which includes being a tyrant) with their wives.

Colossians 3:19 ESV. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Husbands have many godly responsibilities, and we should take care to apply ourselves to those first and many of the other issues will solve themselves. If a husband is pointing his finger at a wife’s failings, it is probable that his own lack of submission to his responsibilities is lacking. A wife will generally follow and submit to a husband if he is following God’s instructions for him because it’s in her nature to respond to love. Peter amplifies our focus.

1 Peter 3:7 ESV. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

A woman thinks and feels in ways that her husband finds puzzling at the least. It can be frustrating because men and women are – news flash – different. Men tend to think objectively, and women subjectively, or more according to her feelings. Wives and husbands can both be wrong, and both act according to pride, the flesh or sin nature. Understanding and forgiveness go a long way in encouraging submission in both parties.

Galatians 5:25 ESV. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

Shalom

Posted in Love • Women

Book Review: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

By Comments:

I usually don’t go for books like this. But I was given a set of CD’s and decided to take a stab at listening while I was working in my shop a while ago. It first came out in 2006 and I think I listened to her read it and explain it in about 2008, but it is on the money even now. While listening I was blown away by how exactly Dr. Laura Schlessinger put her finger on the problem with a lot of marriages. Even if you don’t think there is anything wrong with your marriage you will want to read the book or get a set of CD’s and listen. It will really help any way you look at it.

The basic idea in the author’s mind is that men treat their wives like queens, but women do not treat their husbands like kings. Men are naturally geared toward caring and providing for, and protecting our wives. Women have, to some extent, accepted at least some of the modern feminist thinking about men and marriages. This includes ideas such as “men and women can do the same things,” (different than equality) “women can have it all” (career, home, husband, kids) and “you don’t need a man to complete you.” Men put their wives up on a pedestal, and all too often women use the position to lord it over the husband. (I was actually thinking of a different picture involving bathroom humor, but this will suffice.) In accepting the modern thinking women are by and large contributing a great deal to divorce or a marriage that isn’t very happy.

I was stunned as I was listening, because I have become so used to women who write books about marriage and blame men. We do our share of wrong, on the whole, but I get so tired of hearing how men should be more sensitive, get in touch with their “feminine sides,” and help with the housework. And before you get on my case I helped a lot with housework. Women want control over their own lives, and they want control over the men’s. Frequently, they want this control without responsibility. Husbands don’t get the credit for what we do, yet in order for women to do what they want men have to provide the environment for it. What I mean is, women have gotten a lot more independent now that men have tamed the wilderness and built cities and houses. It’s a little harder to be “self-realized” when you’re running from the local carnivores or defending yourself from outlaws.

A lot of times men just go along with the poor treatment. Right up until they get a different sort of attention from another female. Then, kaboom goes the marriage. Dr. Laura is not saying that husbands are without faults. Lots of men do lots of wrong things. Lots of women are doing lots of right and good things too. But she is saying that if a husband is treated like a king by his wife, she will generally find that her man responds and does what is natural for him. The message from the world is beating us men down on a daily basis. The message from our wives should be an “adorning (of) the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4). It is precious in our sight too.

Sarah called her husband “lord” (Genesis 18:12), submitted to him and obeyed him. I know that message just goes all over the modern woman, which explains the high rate of divorce. Men also have a big responsibility to “live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel” as Peter says (1 Peter 3:5). Dr. Laura’s point is that if a women takes care of her end, it is very likely that the husband will respond as she wants. The wife is torpedoing the result she wants by getting wrapped up in her “self realization.” Try the book, and you’ll find that most of what she says is in The Book.

Shalom
Bruce

Posted in Adoption • Balance • Children • Continuity & Discontinuity • Faith • Jesus • Paul Teachings • Tradition • Women

Childbearing salvation

By Comments:2 Comments

One of the more puzzling verses in the Word is directed at Timothy by Paul in what some refer to as a pastoral epistle.

 

Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control. (1 Timothy 2:15, ESV)

 

It seems that Paul is saying that women can be saved through having kids. I’ve heard a lot of teaching connected with this, mostly focusing on the second part of the verse (faith, love, holiness, self-control) but also trying to work in how women are saved by having kids. I’ve tried to understand it myself by going with that teaching and thinking that perhaps the discipline of actually having kids (it is very difficult to bear children in case you didn’t know) was somehow helpful for learning salvation. Sort of going along with “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12). But I could never really make it fit with my understanding of other parts of the Word, such as that salvation is by grace through faith.

 

I recently read a different take on this by Dr. Walter Kaiser in the book The Promise Plan of God. He says that we should think of this as the act of childbearing as in the fact that the Son of God was birthed by a woman. Salvation came to the world because a woman bore a child. Paul was trying to elevate women because of the gift of bearing children, contrasting their poor treatment at the time (which continues to the present time) with the godly point that they should be honored instead. Yes, Eve was deceived, but a woman was given the privilege of birthing our Messiah Jesus.

 

Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. (1 Corinthians 11:11–12, ESV)

 

Paul is encouraging godliness by acknowledging faults in both genders and at the same time pointing out equal blessings from God. We are not independent; we are interdependent. We each have different jobs, we are made differently (thank you Jesus!) but one gender is not inferior to the other. Women are not property, they are sisters in the household of God and have equal standing with men before God. The childbearing gift was how God chose to bring the Messiah to us, and should not be discounted. Women are saved through the act or gift of childbearing, because our salvation Jesus came to us by way of a woman.

 

An interesting proposition, and one that fits better with the rest of Scripture than any others I’ve heard so far. It’s probably an old teaching in some places, but it’s the first I’ve heard of it.

 

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. (Galatians 4:4–5, ESV)

Posted in Balance • Daily Living • Modesty • Women

Women and Clothing

By Comments:

Nowadays, some think that a woman should wear only long skirts, while it is okay for men to wear pants. The problem is, I couldn’t find any Scriptural reason for this. If it is wrong for women to wear pants (and I don’t think that it is) then it is wrong for men also. If it’s okay for men, ergo, it’s okay for women. It seems rather arbitrary to teach otherwise, and I hesitate to tell husbands that we get the luxury of picking and choosing what is modest and what is not according to our own limited sensibilities. If we are arbitrary in this, we come up with all sorts of inconsistent rules having no biblical basis whatsoever. Then we expect those rules to be binding on others, when only the Word of God is binding.

Think back to the time of Mt. Sinai, and the giving of the instructions on how to run a godly community (the Law). What were the people wearing? All of them, men and women, wore, as near as I can tell, robes. So in a sense, everyone wore long skirts. When we were given the command not to wear clothing of the opposite gender (Deuteronomy 22:5), how could people tell what belonged to one gender or the other? One way, I suggest, to tell genders apart was long hair on the women, and beards with shorter hair for men. But this is not legislated for us anywhere. Another way to tell must have been style or maybe even color differences which were clearly masculine and feminine. The mere presence of long skirts (since everybody wore them) did not serve to differentiate between the genders. There is no Scriptural warrant for teaching that pants are related to morality or modesty one way or the other.

People Husbandry through the Word article from Whole Bible dot com

Posted in Bible • Women

Walter C. Kaiser on Women

By Comments:

A good article on women in the Body by Dr. Walter C. Kaiser Jr. on his website. He translates the word for ‘helpmeet’ for instance as ‘strength’ rather than ‘helper.’ Although he points out that helper is not a pejorative since God is also called a helper on occasion. Four pages, and has quite a different viewpoint than you might expect. We like what he has to say, and we think most believing women will like it too.

Correcting Caricatures: The Biblical Teaching on Women

Dr. Kaiser is a professor of Hebrew and was president of a seminary.