I thought I’d get your attention with the title. Okay, so sex as God intended is not a disgusting practice, it’s disgusting if not done as He intended. This is another in a series of basic articles intended to be an introduction and a help to those of us who are just beginning a Torah submissive walk with the Father. You might want to send the kids out of the room unless you are ready to explain the birds and the bees to them, especially as it pertains to this article. I will try to be as delicate as possible, but most of the time there is just no other way to say it. So if your sensibilities are easily offended perhaps you should put this away for another day.
The Hebrew word for “knowing intimately” is yadah. This is also the word for the sex act. In Genesis, Adam “knew” his wife Eve (Genesis 4:1,25) and many other places we are told we should “know” the Lord (Jeremiah 9:23,24, 31:35; Hosea 2:20, 6:3). The Lord “knows” those who are His (Nah. 1:7). In Matthew 7:21-23 Jesus says that He didn’t “know” (Greek ginosko) those who talked a lot about what they did for Him, but He does know those who rely on what He did for them. Physical intimacy between husband and wife can be a picture of Spiritual intimacy between the body of the Messiah and the Messiah. Because of this we should keep the marriage bed pure (Heb. 13:4).
There really are no laws pertaining to the sex act itself as practiced between two married people, except for the rule on not sharing sex during the flow of menstruation (Leviticus. 18:19, 20:18). As far as I know nothing else is prohibited, so sensitivity and compassion should be the rule for figuring out what’s an acceptable activity and what is not. If you want to swing from the chandelier in a Tarzan outfit, go right ahead. If you use a trampoline, more power to ya. If batteries are included, I don’t want to know about it. Just remember to communicate and treat the other person as you would want to be treated. And guys, this means making a real effort to slow down and understand your woman. They frequently need a little more “mental” involvement than we do.
This is a difficult area. Supposedly the two leading reasons for fights between couples are money (first) and sex. Many marriages have foundered because of the inability to reconcile differences in quality, frequency, timing and particulars. Personally I think people expect way too much from sex. We hear a tremendous amount of talk about it from others, or from sources such as magazines and movies. To hear these others talk we are supposed to experience an alternate reality or set a new land speed record every time we share physical intimacy with our spouses. So we think that if we don’t feel heaven and earth move something must be wrong. Well, give yourself a break and forget all the talk. In my opinion, sex is simply an extension of your relationship, and sometimes it will be good while other times merely adequate or even boring. Every once in a while you may actually feel heaven and earth move. So it varies a little. So what. If your needs are not being met talk with your spouse. See if you can’t come to a more equitable arrangement based on your wants and the wants of your spouse. But try to maintain a balance, add a dash of self-restraint where necessary, and above all practice, practice, practice till you get it right. Can I get another amen?
Continued in the article of the same title on the Whole Bible Christian site.